Your daughter has announced that she’s getting a piercing. Depending on her age this may not be as easy as she thinks. Our issue arose when our daughter was around 16. This is how we talked through the issue.
So your daughter wants a piercing. Initially, my first reaction to a piercing was a strong No. I told our daughter that I would do some research and then decide. Here are some questions I came up against.
- How long has she been thinking about it and why?
- Does the school allow it?
- Choosing the piercing salon
- Where is the chosen piercing to be?
- Can piercing hygiene be managed effectively?
This is a big decision as a parent because once you agree, there’s always the possibility of being asked to allow another and another.
You need to be sure that it is something you are good with 100%. Here’s how we came to an agreed compromise that everyone was happy with.
How long has she been thinking about it and why?
You need to be sure that we’re not just on a whim or a fad. A hole in your skin is not something to take lightly.
So we asked our daughter how long she had been considering the piercing. When did she decide that she would like a piercing why did she want it?
Was it just because all of her friends had one? We always try to encourage her to be an individual, so following the crowd just wasn’t going to cut it as a reason. It had to be a little deeper.
Her answer was somewhat impressive. She said she had been thinking about it for a while. She had been quite anxious about how much it might hurt but was now prepared for the pain.
That she didn’t want fear to hold her back in anything she wanted or desired and so wanted to overcome that barrier and go through with the piercing.
I thought this was quite a mature outlook and so I agreed to look into it further.
Does School Allow It?
As with every new thing that is suggested or introduced in our house if it’s not allowed in school, well that’s the end of the discussion.
The school’s rules are not always my rules but they need to be followed if my kids are to stay out of the spotlight in school.
We checked with the school and discovered that if it is discreet, then it is allowed. Lip, nose, or brow piercings were not allowed but ear cartilage (helix, tragus, snug) and lobe piercings were allowed.
My daughter thought that this was great, she could just go after school and get it done. It’s not as simple as that I’m afraid.
Piercing on a minor (under 18) is not allowed in practically all US states. She needed parental consent and most places require a parent/guardian to be present with a valid ID at the time of piercing.
Which to me was fantastic, because it meant that I got to choose where she was going to get it done.
You may also ne interested to read my post, are teenagers children? The Law state by state. It touches on teen maturity, responsibility and the laws surrounding the topic.
Where is the chosen piercing to be?
Can they manage the piercing hygiene?
So the outcome for our daughter getting a piercing was yes we allowed it. But it wasn’t a decision that I made quickly or without in-depth research and discussion.
As I said at the start I knew once she had one she would want another.
She is now 18 and I don’t have any control over the outcome but I hoped the first piercing process would benefit her in her choices.
I tried to advise her on how she will ultimately look. She has her nose and her helix and her tragus now pierced.
If you are interested in reading out some other teen issues I have also written;
It’s all very well how she looks now. She’s in college and no one cares what you look like or what you wear.
But she needed to be mindful of how she was going to appear to future prospective employers. Even jobs that are temporary or summer jobs.
We only get one chance to make a first impression. I wanted hers to be a positive one.